The Trauma of Racism

TEXT & PHOTOS FOR THE WASHINGTON POST MAGAZINE

If the pain of overt racism is like a brutal stab wound — instant and searing — the trauma of systemic and casual racism is like the phantom pains from an amputated limb. It is the constant pinpricks of a wound that can’t fully heal. It is the external reminder that you’re not quite like the others, and the gnawing self-doubt that you may never be enough.

But to speak of this type of pain can be risky. You can be told, “You have such a chip on your shoulder. Get over it!” or “You’re always acting like a victim!”

Most people of color play a balancing act when advocating for ourselves and our children. We straddle the line between finding a space to speak openly about injustice and trauma, and guarding ourselves so that our experiences and our grief aren’t turned into racial tropes. We proceed with caution, lest our stories be stripped of empathy and subsequently used against us. There are consequences of vulnerability.

Yet some parents, like Ilka Alcantara and Alicia Volel, are cognizant of their inherited trauma and are more open to addressing the reverberations of hate around their two girls. Best friends Indiamara and Ayainna, both 11, grew up in middle-class homes in Dorchester, Mass., with two working professional parents. What is grim about their stories is the commonality of their experiences. They speak of everyday realities many children and families of color have grown inured to — realities so typical, in fact, that these daily offenses no longer possess an urgency in their hierarchy of problems.